Bad Golf, Good Dishes

Actually, it was an injured arm that lead to the pursuit of more dishes for my lovely bride. I wanted to golf at a course in Canton, TX, home of the First Monday’s Trade Days (the largest flea market this side of the Mississippi). It’s also home to the Canton Dish Barn. For those who are into Fiesta Dinnerware, the Canton Dish Barn is the place to shop.

My wife and I appreciate Fiesta Ware. We like the color. We like the solid feel of the plates. We like the way the plates keep our food off the table, as plates are designed to do. Yes, the simplicity of the plates and the bright colors remind me of… kindergarten, when things were simpler. No confusing patterns. Just simply, color, roundness of plates, and thickness, giving a senses of durability.

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Tell-tale Signs of Obsession

OK, I think I’m becoming a bit obsessed. No, it’s nothing real serious. I’m not obsessed with, say, sports, or alcohol, or some tawdry exploit of mankind. I’m obsessed with working in my yard. When we moved here, there was nothing but dirt. As you can see from the picture above, it’s all green. But what you don’t see, is that it’s not grass. That green is nothing but weeds. I do have grass in my backyard, just not in the picture.

On a whim last fall, I bought a bag of fescue, which is any of a genus (Festuca) of tufted perennial grasses with panicled spikelets. Don’t worry. I didn’t rattle that off the top of my head, I got it from the fine gentlemen at Merrian Webster, who now what to charge me $1.99 for such tantalizing information. But I’m now into grass… not words so much. I know, what about the blog? What about my great discourses on the roles of women in the church? What about the need for more Christians honoring the LORD’s day? I know the score. My wonderful readers will glance at it, think Timothy is on his high pachyderm, and won’t give it another thought. However, if I write something simple, like a post about, say, honoring those women who do stay at home to glorify God, and you will be on my like sprinkles on a donut.

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Facebook Posts

Some of things I write on Facebook crack me up. Yes, I laugh at my own jokes. Sometimes I’m the only one who gets it. With that confession, here are some of the humorous statements I’ve written on Facebook:

  • My wife said that I should get a hearing aid after I didn’t understand what she said. I replied: “Hearing aids cost around $1,000, I can say ‘what?’ for free.”
  • Tonight, told Heidi that I had a BS in Journalism. She said that I was being redundant.
  • Heidi and I were talking about pictures of John Calvin and she asked: “Did he have a pointy chin?”
    Me: “Well, he was French, right?”
  • Actual text to my wife on why I was late getting off from work today:Me: “Waiting for Jesus to get picked up by his mom.”
    Heidi: “OK, that sounds like a Christmas reference, nativity play?”
    Me: “Mexican kid.”
    Heidi: “Jesus was Mexican?”

    I so enjoyed sending that text.

  • The pastorate is the one position in the world where every one is an expert about what the pastor should and should not be doing, except the pastor.
  • It seems that if you dream about being at work, they should pay you for your work.
  • Heidi and I discovered tonight that cauliflower by any other name, is still cauliflower.

Hope you enjoyed those. Not all were humorous, but hopefully all were worth giving some thought.

The House With Character

Heidi and I are in the market for a house. Living in an apartment is a no-win situation financially speaking, so we have been looking for a small home to buy in the greater, greater Dallas/Ft. Worth area. That means far enough away from DFW that we can actually find something we can afford.

Quite honestly, the housing market is completely out of control. One home we looked at in Ennis, TX, was nothing more than a spruced up shotgun shack with less square footage than a SMART car, and the people were asking $90,000 for the place. I was… livid. That particular house, was worth no more than $30,000.

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Good News! Joel Osteen Admits That There Is Sin!

In a stunning turn of events, Joel Osteen has come out and admitted that there is something that is actually sinful. In an interview with the Huffington Post, he bent over backwards to say that homosexuals are approved of God. That is no real surprise, but then he went on to say the following:

“The Bible said a sin is pride, a sin is selfish ambition. We tend to pick out these certain things,” he said.
I am actually dumbfounded at this amazing turn of events. I wonder if he will ever get around to tell us the solution to our sin problem. But wait, it gets even better than that, Osteen actually took a stand on Scripture and admitted to even reading Scripture at all:
“I believe the scripture says that being gay is a sin. But, you know, every time I say that, Chris … people say, well, you are a gay hater and you’re a gay basher,” Osteen told Wallace during the interview. “I’m not. I don’t – I don’t dislike anybody. Gays are some of the nicest, kindest, most loving people in the world. But my faith is based on what I believe the scripture says, and that’s the way I read the scripture.”
This truly is shocking news. Given his views on life, God and life, I never really thought he read Scripture at all. But it gets better. He went on to say that the pope is a swell guy, but said he and the pope differ on theology. This is amazing. I didn’t think Osteen actually knew the word theology. Look what he said:

“I think the pope is fantastic, his tone, his humility,” he said.

“We may not agree 100 percent on doctrine and theology, but the Catholic Church, our church, it’s open for everybody. I like his tone, not pushing people away.”

This is clearly a sign of the coming apocalypse.

Johnny Manziel Needs to Grow Up

I know, we were all enamored with Johnny Manziel four years ago. His haphazard style of play, helped him defeat powerhouse Alabama on the road and led to him being the first freshman to win the Heisman Trophy. We thought that there would never be anyone like him again on the field.

Now, four years later, every time I hear the name Johnny Manziel, I cringe. While he brought a lot of attention to Texas A&M University, along with the Heisman Trophy, I think most Aggies would confess that Manziel has been an embarrassment ever since. He is like a 16 year old with no restraint. He thinks life’s best moments are tied up in standing at a bar with frat boys getting plastered and shouting how plastered they are getting. He thinks the life that is best, is that of a drunken frat boy and shouting “dude!” He is empty headed.

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Thanksgiving 2013: Boys With Mud, Men With Jeeps

I have been going through all the videos I have taken over the past few years and uploading them to Youtube, so the boys could watch. You can see some of them on my Family Page. As I was doing so, I discovered an entire series of videos taken on Thanksgiving Day 2013. It was a classic Hammons’ family gathering because David, my older brother, had his Jeep with him and decided to take Andy, Joey and me for a ride around the pasture. He loves to show how it can get across any ravine, or ditch with it’s four-wheel drive power. Of course, he also loves to get it stuck. This was his second demonstration on Thanksgiving Day and in the same fashion as the last Thanksgiving demonstration, he got his Jeep stuck in the pasture. This angered the powers that be because Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family, not Jeeps getting stuck. As far as I was concerned, this entire day spent getting the Jeep unstuck was about family. What is so unusual about this? However, David has since been banned from taking his Jeep into the pasture.

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PhotoBomb: Joey!

Heidi and I took the boys over to College Station this past weekend and we spent time walking around Texas A&M University. It is, after all, a really neat place to check out and she has never seen any university that is so big and prestigious.

We were taking pictures as we went along and we tried to get Andy to take pictures of the two of us, since we don’t have a lot of pictures of the two of us together. Well, it was a good idea. We just didn’t count on Photobomb Joey, who was in a rare mood. (A photobomb is someone who jumps into a photo unexpectedly.)

I’m giving you three shots of us with Joey. By the time Andy took the first picture, Joey had already danced in front of us and we were almost in tears laughing so hard. Andy did manage to get Joey in a couple of the shots. Here are the three best shots:

T&Heidi 001

T&Heidi 002

T&Heidi 003

You can see why Joey keeps us in stitches. He really has a great sense of humor and truly loves to enjoy the moment. More to come on that one.

The War of Northern Aggression

I was telling my father that I was planning on spending a few days in Northwest Arkansas visiting a dear woman, when he mentioned that I should take her to the battle place of Pea Ridge. Apparently, Pea Ridge,  was an important battle site during the war of Northern Aggression.

I admitted to my father that in all the hours I have spoken to the woman in question, that I had not once broached the topic of the war of Northern Aggression. He immediately responded:

“Well, boy! What are you waiting for. You have to get these things on the table and get them there quickly!”

We both had a good laugh.