As we approached our 5th Wedding Anniversary, while going through the refrigerator, I finally decided to throw away our bottle of Dave’s Insanity Sauce. We only used it once, shortly after we got married. The reason for this is that Heidi is such a good cook, we didn’t need Dave’s.

The Insanity Sauce is perfect for a bachelor who cannot cook. Something tastes bad? Add some Dave’s. Eggs lack pizzaz, a tad (and I mean a tad in the literal sense) will do you. Stuck with Raman noodles again? Turn that bowl of preservatives into a gourmet meal.

Yup, Dave’s could save most anything just as long as you didn’t use too much, for the sauce itself is really, really hot. It was the heat that was the key. You never tasted the dull food, just the heat. And for those who cannot cook, the heat is a delight. It is perfect for single guys. And I no longer need it. It’s currently in a landfill somewhere, waiting to be discovered by archaeologists who will open it, and add it to their Ramen noodles. I’m sure it will still be good.

(WARNING: If I were a Surgeon General, I would let you know that women who are pregnant, those with heart conditions, and GI tract issues, should not use Dave’s Insanity Sauce.)