The Package Store

Report 04

T O P  S E C R E T

From: Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Universe Protection Unit — Eastern Quadrant, Sector 16.

To: Star Command (Commander Turner Lightyear).


As you instructed, I managed to stowaway and follow them to what they called a “package store.” I’m not sure why they called it this. I didn’t see any packages at all, just bottles of strange liquid in strange bottles.

For instance, look at these bottles:

This bottle does not look the least bit practical, other than the fact that it would be very difficult to knock it over. Maybe there is a reason for this, but I’m not sure what it is.

I did find a package after looking all over the store.

This seemed to be a more expensive version of the bottles in the store.

I did find one to my liking, and picked it up for experimental purposes only. I only had a few sips of the liquid. It was indeed from the devil… but I don’t remember much after that.

Breaking News

Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear had to be rescued from the raging waters of the Watagua River on Friday. He managed to grab onto a rock, which he called his “buddy and friend,” and was heard singing a British bar song: “Oh, I’m tired and I wanna go home, I’m tired and I wanna go to bed, Oh I had a drink about an hour ago, and it went straight to me head, wherever I may roam, come summer, spring or fall, you will always find me singing this song, Oh, I’m tired and I wanna go home…”

One bystanders was heard to say, “he needs some help. This is so unlike Buzz Lightyear…”

All photos are copyright © Timothy J. Hammons 2021. 

Categories: Family, HumorTags:


  1. Thanks for starting my week with a chuckle!


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