Happy New Year from “Lucifer”

This is the third part of a series that I did on what The World, Flesh and the Devil want for us during the coming year. I’ve been quite hesitant to write this one because I have been using the technique of personification, which worked well from the standpoint of the World and the Flesh. It doesn’t work well for the Devil. The Devil is a real, created being who is set on the destruction of all things, especially those who are in Christ. Writing from his standpoint makes me uncomfortable. But I will give it a shot, resting in the knowledge that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ or rip me out of His hands. My hope is in nothing less than Jesus and His righteousness for my salvation, hope, sustenance and future.

With that said, here is what Lucifer might say to us:

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I hope that you have a wonderful New Year, much better than the one you just had. I have so many things to say to you for the coming year. It’s hard to pick one. But however I come to you, know that I want your happiness and well being more than anyone. So let me get started:

First, may your year be filled with the promise of the American Dream since most of you live in the United States. This is YOUR national birthright! Ha! What a delicious invention. Give Christians a country, and wrap patriotism into their precious religion, and watch the idolatry flow forth! Ha! That was one of my best schemes. Now you guys love to jump around saying Gawd and Country like it was the 11th Commandment! On top of that, I’ve convinced you to ignore the first Ten! Haha! Nothing like a red herring here or there to distract you guys. 

But enough of what I have done, let’s make this about you! You will have a great year pursuing your heart and dreams. Yes, look to your desires to find happiness, follow your heart, be all that you can be! I love my little marketing department and how they came up with all those positive things to make it about you! I have even implemented these wonderful techniques into your worship services. Yes, keep asking the questions about “your ministry” and “what you get out of worship.” Keep singing those songs that address YOUR feelings, and look to those messages about how you can be a better you! (O it’s so easy to deceive you little ones). Those are wonderful things to do, because it reminds you of what is most important: You!

You may ask me why I would reveal such subtle tactics in diverting you from worshiping the Galilean fellow. I do so, because I know most of you don’t know enough about that carpenter, his ways, and his father to be able to discern the deceitfulness of my ways. Double haha! I know your little book better than you do and have convinced you to be simple in your pursuits and understanding. You actually think dwelling on the doctrines on the carpenter is a bad thing. “I just want Jesus,” you say, all the while, you are clueless as to who he actually is. Bingo! That is exactly where you need to be in your little religion.

Did you notice I said “your little religion!” You guys truly came up with this one all on your own. All I had to say was, “has God indeed said,” and boom, you started your little religion factories, thinking it was about you and your approach to him! You guys are so easy to deceive.

He even went to the trouble to set you guys straight, by coming to earth, and you bozos went and put him to death. What a sweet day that was. You totally missed the point. I really thought I was defeated when he had the audacity to not stay dead, but slipping back into the church to deceive you guys was cake walk. It was the same principle: “has God indeed said?” You guys never learn.

Another hope of mine for you is that you find yourself. This is most important. For, how can a man know himself if he doesn’t find himself first! This is the key to true happiness. I am certain that the big fella upstairs would want this for you, he wants you to be happy, comfy and well. Remember, the best policy in determining whether or not you should do something is ask yourself “wouldn’t God want you to be happy?” That should be one of your guiding principles in how you live your lives. This is because he really wants you to be happy. This is his entire purpose! Haha!

Finally, when it comes to me, let me make two suggestions. First, ignore me. I’m so  ancient that there is no place for me in your understanding of things. Pretend I don’t exist. After all, if you ever mention me, most people will look at you like you have lost your mind. I really don’t exist.

But if you do insist upon my existence, then please, give me my due. Every time you sin, blame it on me. Every time things go wrong, blame it on me. Every time there is the least bit of trouble, just know that I was behind it. Haha! Remember, I’m all powerful and able to thwart your every plan! Haha!

Well, here is hoping you have a splendid New Year. May your EVERY desire come true.




One thought on “Happy New Year from “Lucifer”

Comments are closed.