Who Am I?
I was raised in a Christian Science home and became one when I turned 21. However I confess that I never could reconcile life to the claims that those in CS were making. There were always these miracles taking place, but never real honest miracles. Lots of miraculous cures for the common cold and such. Most of the testimonies given by those in CS were of the nature that the giver was on “death’s door” and then they prayed, and were healed. Given that death’s door can be so subjective, I take it that most of these women giving these testimonies were getting over their menstrual cramps.
When I was 9, my family had a major car accident that left my mother paralyzed for life. I remember praying over her body as she laid on the side of the road, just as we were taught to pray as Christian Scientist, but she didn’t get up. She never would walk again even though she refused medical treatment as was the common practice, and would go to a special hospital for Christian Scientist where the nurses prayed for healings. My take from it: if the god of Christian Science wouldn’t answer the prayers of a 9-year-old boy, then he was no god at all. Read The Accident here.
The sad reality is that in those days, I really wanted to believe the claims of Mary Baker Eddy. Most in Christian Science do. But she was, at best, a nutcase. Her logic and the fallacies she makes are a clear example of why we need to teach logic in schools again. She says that all matter is the same, therefore, since you can work your muscles and have them grow bigger, you should be able to work a hammer and anvil and have them get bigger too! To someone who wants to believe that Mary Baker Eddy really is special and called by God with new revelation, stuff like that sounds really plausible.
But Mary Baker Eddy was not, and is not something new from God. In fact, her heresy of Christian Science is really just an old heresy with a new dress. It’s a form of gnosticism in which the followers of MBE are given special knowledge, and only those in the inner circles can have true understanding. The problem is that her Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures contradicts the gospel itself. There is no real truth in it.
As one friend, who’s mother also was a Christian Science said, “it’s the biggest bunch of crap ever passed off as religion.” He made that discovery when he was 17. I wish I had made it much sooner, but it’s hard to do when your entire family say they believe the stuff. Never mind the clear and utter lack of evidence. Like I said, we wanted to believe it was true. We wanted to believe that my mother was going to get up out of the wheelchair and walk someday. We wanted to believe that our broken bones (see the picture) would heal over night. We wanted to believe we could heal ourselves of the need for glasses (which is odd because I knew some Christians who were touting the same thing a few years ago). We wanted all that MBE wrote to be true. That is why so many remain in the religion. It offers hope from infirmities and sufferings.
In other words, MBE was seeking to do what the health-and-well wolves are doing today. She was offering something that seems like it was obtainable with enough faith! This is the same claim that the wolves of our day put forth, if you are not healed, it’s your fault! You didn’t have enough faith.
There is a real reason why Jesus said “if you have the faith of a mustard seed, then you will be able to say to this mountain, ‘get up and move over here.'” He says that because we do NOT have the faith of a mustard seed. It would be years later that I would realize the only faith we do have, is saving faith in Him and the salvation He offers. Even that faith is a gift from God, not something we conjure up in our fallen and depraved hearts.
This is why Christian Science makes these offers. The fault of its failure is always placed upon the follower, never the system itself. This is why they promise health and wealth, because the system is faultless in their minds.
But it is isn’t. Anyone who has been a true Christian for any length of time will tell you, “we ask for heaven on earth, but we are waiting for it glory.” This is because we know this life is full of sufferings and trials. There is no deliverance from such until we are with Christ in glory.
So who am I? I am not a Christian Scientist even though this is who I was raised to be. By God’s grace, the mountains of evidence against the religion outweighed my desires for it to be true. By the time I was 25, I had become openly agnostic… even obnoxiously agnostic.
A Broken Finger
The second photo was taken after I broke my finger swinging on a rope at Blue Hole. Richer Free and I went there with a few other guys one night and we were planning on swimming all day the next day. On my first swing into the water, I slid down the rope, catching my finger on knot and broke it. I came up from beneath the water and yelled, “Richard, I think I broke my finger.” Given that my fingernail was facing the wrong direction, I was pretty sure I didn’t need a doctor to tell me the finger was broken.
Richard, when he saw, was madder than the devil because he knew his day at Blue Hole had come to an end before it started. He had to drive me to the hospital where they set it in a finger cast. No, I’m not flipping anyone off. Just happens to be the finger that broke.
The irony of the photo is that the T-shirt I’m wearing is from the Christian Science summer camp for kids outside of Branson, MO. Hhm? Broken finger, and a Christian Science T-shirt. Seeds of doubt being planted???
As for the first photo, I think I’m about six months old in that picture.