Neil’s fire ant story got me talking about our exploits with things creep and crawly that we DON’T like! We don’t have fire ants here in Tennessee, at least not in the city limits, but we have every other kind of ant to contend with. In comment section, Neil and co. began talking about the humane way to kill mice and other critters. The truth is, there is no humane way to kill any of these critters except that which is quick and deadly.

When Elisa and I first got married, we quickly discovered a mouse had moved in with us. It’s easy to detect… they poop every where and there is one stoneware pie pan that she still refuses to use because of the amount of poop found in it. Sad thing is, that is was a wedding gift. We set about ways to catch and kill the little booger. I had to act quickly because she was threatening to go sleep in a motel if I did not act swiftly and get results. (Can you say “hanta virus? Can you say “issues” with Elisa? She had a really bad experience with a rat when she was in high school… the kind that makes your skin crawl).

Off to Wal-Mart for some traps, of which, someone suggested a glue trap. The idea is that you catch the mouse and then release the mouse out in a field so that the mouse makes it’s way to the nearest farm house and… well, you get the idea. I put the traps in several locations and within an hour, we heard the screams of the little booger. He was screaming in agony, and trying to get away, flipping the trap over and over again. It was really a sad moment for the mouse. Made my wife actually feel some sympathy for him.

I took him outside and made one attempt to pulling him off the glue. It wasn’t going to happen. In my frustration of seeing him suffer, and remembering my wrath towards him for all the poop we had to clean up, I decided to introduce him to our environmentally friendly 2×4. He quit screaming at that point, and since he was so difficult to get off the trap, I threw him and the trap away. So much for humane.

And then there was the snake we came home to in the middle of our kitchen. He was coiled up and as soon as he saw us made a dash under the cabinets. I spent the next hour trying to find him to no avail.

Later that night, as we decided to settled down to a movie and pop some popcorn, he resurfaced next to the stove. Stuck hi little head out and I quickly grabbed the closest thing to pin him down, a butcher knife. I had to be care, he as a dreaded copper-headed-water-rattler (all snakes fall into this category until proven otherwise, which means they are dead). My wife ran in because I did pin him down, and she got me tongs. I grabbed his head and started pulling. That was the weirdest feeling as I pulled him through the hole int he counter top.

Once I got him out, I introduced him to our environmentally friendly 2×4. All this to say, we don’t like creepy crawlies any more than the next person. For this reason, we will not be taking any short-term mission trips to… Kenya, Africa, South America, or any where else they have more deadly and creepy crawly animals than they do here.

Just a side note, we did enjoy the movie The Tale of Despereaux. After watching it many times, we finally got to the point where we can tolerate Ratatouie. Rats are really … well let me just say, everyone needs their own environmentally friendly 2×4.