…some people in our culture want too much out of a marriage partner. They do not see marriage as two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love and consolation, a “haven in a heartless world,” as Christopher Lasch describes it. Rather, they are looking for someone who will accept them as they are, complement their abilities and fulfill their sexual and emotional desires. This will indeed require a woman who is “a novelist/astronaut with a background in fashion modeling,” and the equivalent in a man. A marriage based not on self-denial but on self-fulfillment will require a low- or no-maintenance partner who meets your needs while making almost no claims on you. Simply put—today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner.
What he is pointing out is that far too many people enter marriage so they can have their needs met, as opposed to entering marriage in order to give to the other person. The goals of marriage for many are off based and set up for failure. If we are looking to have our needs met, is there any one who can actually fulfill all those needs? It seems to me that if the needs are fulfilled on one level, then nothing will happen but the arrival of more needs needing to be fulfilled. This is because the needs of many are sinful in nature and sin is never satisfied.
Power to Pastor — Michael Milton has a good reminder to pastors about where their identity and strength come from while preaching and pastoring.
1. MINISTER OUT OF A SELF IDENTITY OF A SERVANT
This is most basic. It would have been quite ridiculous if the donkey that carried Jesus into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday thought the hoopla was for him. No. He was just the carrier of the One who deserves all praise. Your identity is just a messenger, a preacher, an ambassador. It is a noble calling, a glorious identity, but it is in the end, just a shepherd, just a servant. Live out of that identity and you will be happy. Your congregation will be blessed. Christ will be exalted and His power will flow unhindered by your ego.
My Husband is Not My Soul Mate — Hannah gives us a good breakdown of the false view that many have when it comes to finding a mate. So many believe that God has the certain person tucked away just for you! It is because of this, that so many marriages fall on hard times when one, or both, realize that marriage is hard and we have to get up every day and choose to love the one we have made a commitment to.
I found the best assessment on the fall of the Defense of Marriage Act from Dr. Peter Jones at Truthxchange.
The basis of human society was established by a special act of God, who created first a man and then a woman, both in God’s image. They were to rule over the earth in a life-producing, civilization-creating marriage.
This has been the bedrock of Western civilization for two millennia. Prior to that, the Greco-Roman pagan world allowed all kinds of sexual expressions and views of the divine. In its understanding of both God and Man, the West is now returning to those pagan morals-in the name of freedom, love, civil rights, diversity and equality. Such “values” free us from the definitions of human nature established by the Creator. Darwin and Marx have won. Our culture no longer believes that God created the cosmos nor that he set marriage in place as the fundamental human and societal building block.
Basically, our society is returning to the days of Roman paganism before the gospel spread through the Apostle Paul and his band of fellow laborers. While it is the end of the society that we have known, and wrongly cherished, it is not the end of the world. Just as Christians lived in that day, so too, shall we live as well.
Bill Smith, a fellow teaching elder in the PCA, has put together a great piece on divorce over at his blog The Christian Curmudgeon. The Westminster Confession of Faith has given two reasons for divorce. The first is that of adultery, in which the offending party has had actual physical relations with someone other than their spouse, thereby breaking the one-flesh union of the couple. The other is desertion, in which one spouse leaves the other.
He discusses both positions and shows that the two reasons are biblical. He also gives us a good section on the church’s responsibility in the matter:
What is the responsibility of the church? The church’s responsibility is (1) to train its youth according to the Biblical teaching regarding sexuality and marriage; (2) to do everything possible to strengthen the marriages of its members; (3) to uphold Biblical standards regarding the grounds for divorce; (4) to approach every troubled couple with love, understanding, and help with the goal of restoring the relationship; (5) to support the party who does not cause the divorce*; (6) to minister to the needs of children for whom divorce is almost always destructive; (7) to seek pastorally, with humility and showing grace, to help the erring party to repent and find forgiveness, according to his/her profession; and (8) as a last resort to use the Bible’s disciplinary process (Matthew 18:15-20; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13; Galatians 6:1) to uphold the honor of Christ, to protect the purity of the church, and to reclaim the person who (it is be hoped) had temporarily gone astray.
I know that many people are waiting with baited and stinky breath on the United States Supreme Court to tell us what the definition of marriage is according to the Constitution, but the Supreme Being of all eternity has already defined it for the Christian. In other words, it matters not what the Supreme Court says, as Christians, Jesus has done so for us.
Matthew 19:4-6 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
In an obvious sp*m email to random bloggers, a man named Joseph invited me to link to a list of the top 100 "marriage equality" blogs on his gay dating site. Here is my response. It also goes out to the people on Facebook with the red equal sign pictures and anyone else who abuses words like equality. Remember, the warnings in…
Just a few things going on that I’m able to comment on, and not able to pass up…
What Makes You Think the “Democratic Party” Has Changed?– Great piece by a woman that identifies herself as FDF NY (Ayesha Kreutz?) on how what I’m calling the party of death, the Democratic Party, hasn’t changed much since its inception and identification with the KKK. She writes:
I look around see these inner cities that are devastated by broken families, abortion, poor education (which borders criminal), high incarceration rates, illiteracy, drug infestation and general black genocide; and I see the power structure is mostly all democrats, in city after city and for 15 and 40 years and I have to ask you people what in the world makes you think the “Democrat Party”, which …was the party of the KKK, Segregation and now socialism has changed. I mean I hear you all say it and I hear a lot of these folks say a bunch of sweet and “well intentioned” things but when I look around and see the pain, devastation and brokeness, it seems like they are feeding you a line of bull… just the same old planned genocide and eugenics, they wanted all along only more cloaked, today, in fancy elitism and patronizing niceties. So again I ask, what in the world makes you think these people have changed from their past?
I think the Alliance Defending Freedom has done an excellent job of making the case for marriage on a secular level. They are trying to defend the Defense of Marriage Act. I don’t think we are going to win on this in the long run, because liberals and the left never give up. They have to suspend reason in their pursuits of fleshly lusts. We know that from Romans 1. The flesh never satisfies and this is why the left will never stop unless those in authority close that door for them (or the Spirit moves in our nation). Since the governmental authorities are on the side of the gay lobby, marriage will be redefined and organizations that stand against them will become enemies of the state. But it is good to see the stand that is being taken.
The Bishop E.W. Jackson speaks out against the Democratic Party, saying that it is antithetical to those of us who are Christians. I’ve been saying it for years, how can the party that cherishes killing the unborn have anything to do with the Light of the World? How can the party that recognize two men in an unholy relationship have anything to do with the ONE who said it was an abomination to Him? How can the party the cherishes every level of sinful and rebellious behavior have anything to do with the One who submitted Himself to the death of the cross out of humble obedience?
The Democratic Party and Christianity are incompatible with one another. Christians should leave the party and not vote for those who stand with them.
Here is the Bishop E.W. Jackson saying the same thing from his perspective as a black Christian. I truly am encouraged by his words. Even though he is speaking mainly to black Christians, he reminds us that we need to stand with God, not some political party or candidate. God is the One who will take care of us, not the fallen government. Speaking of which see the second video in which Dr. Barbara Beller points out just how ridiculous it is for us to think that Obamacare will take care anyone at all.